


Birthday Bash

by CallSignTracer1698



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Amélie loves her smol girlfriend, Annoying little shit of a bird, Birthday Cake, Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Everything that can goes wrong does, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Lena is a dork, Lena just wants to throw a party for her purple girlfriend cut her some slack, Oneshot, See Rune I don't "always" torture my characters, Smug ass Pigeon, Sporks, birthday gift, fluff for fluffs sake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 11:05:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16638746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallSignTracer1698/pseuds/CallSignTracer1698
Summary: Lena "Dork" Oxton is planning a small surprise party for her girlfriend, but anything that can go wrong does. Can she salvage the evening or is the universe in tune with Amélie's birthday hating ways???





	Birthday Bash

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RunePhoenix6769](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunePhoenix6769/gifts).



> A birthday gift for Runephoenix6769, just a quick oneshot since I can't actually get em a cake. 
> 
> I swear I'm still writing Talon's Claws I just tend to write a lot out at once before breaking it up into chapters and posting it. Thanks for your patience!

It has to be perfect! 

That's all Lena could think as she zipped around the small King's Row apartment. It had taken months of begging and a quip of just asking Angela when her birthday was before Amélie had relented, and today was the day! Winston would probably chastise Lena for using her accelerator to help her rapid fire clean her living space but it was all or nothing. She'd go out and take care of some drunken bar thugs later in the week to make up for the cosmic imbalance of daring to use her powers to clean the apartment at lightening speed. 

"That should do it!" Lena barked happily to herself, whipping the mop up and clumsy leaning against it as she looked around the tidy space. The wet strands flopped against her face. "Blegh, gross. Mop water."

Shaking her head to get rid of the droplets clinging to her hair and skin she bustled away popping the cleaning supplies back in their space in the tiny closet where they wouldn't see the light of day for another few months. A streak of blue light behind her mapped out her path as she zipped back towards the bedroom dragged the box she hid a while back to keep it from Amélie. 

"Alright Oxton, time to get your decorating on." 

Hustling back into the living room she pulled out the baggies of streamers. After a few quick laps around she had them all pinned up along the walls and hanging from the ceiling, purples and blues of course. Now for the hard part. She pulled out the balloons and set to work. Over the course of an hour she was lightheaded, but had gotten the balloons blown and set up. Blue, orange, purple, and black all stared back at her from around the room. Satisfied she tossed the packaging in the rubbish bin, making her way into the kitchen. 

Hauling herself up onto the counter, internally cursing such high shelving, she rifled through the top cabinet and pulled out an old dusty cookbook. With a quick blink she returned to her original place back on the floor and started turning the pages. Finding the dessert section she propped it up on the counter and began pulling out the first set of ingredients she would need. Hopping backwards she glanced over the first few lines before leaning over and tapping at the oven to get it up to temp. 

She set her mind to mixing, the radio blaring in the background as she half paid attention to the news report and her bowl. Groping blindly inside her cabinet she snagged a container, with a quick glance she saw the large S scrawled on the side, and quickly measured it out tossing it into the batter. 

"Alright all I need now is some butter, aaaand... Bollocks! Fresh out. Guess I'll have to nip out and grab some." Lena popped a cutting board on top of the half prepped batter before zipping out the door, snagging a hoodie on the way.

She really shouldn't be drawing so much attention to herself as she raced down the street, the chronal accelerator's blue light dimly lit under her orange hoodie, but she was on a time limit here. Butter, butter, butter, dammit where are they hiding that bloody butter?!? Blinking around the corner at the end of the aisle she found herself moving too fast and ended up sliding to a stop by running straight into the dairy cooler bunker nearly going arse over tea kettle.

"Oh... that's where they keep the butter. Roight, gotta get back!" 

Blinking rapidly back home she jammed the key into the lock, her brow furrowing at the burning smell. Crap. 

Scrambling through the door Lena tossed the bag of butter on the counter and raced to the oven. Wrenching open the door a cloud of dark smoke belched outwards blurring her vision and making it hard to breath. Coughing and sputtering Lena staggered back dropping into a crouch to get a better look. 

"For Christ sake... Amélie!" Lena muttered to herself grabbing some pot holders and pulling the cast iron pan out of the oven. 

Bringing the pan up she set it on the stove top and tugged the offending rubber handle grip off, tossing it under cold water to cool it. She had no idea why Amélie insisted on keeping the cookware in the oven but this happened everytime Lena wanted to use it. That damned handle grip always smoked up the place. And yet, she could never be bothered to check.

Moving over to the balcony doors she propped one open and began fanning the smoke out. Once the smoke had fully cleared Lena turned back to the batter, adding in the butter, and mixing it all together. Greasing the pan she poured the mixture out and pushed it into the oven before kneeling down to get into the small cupboard near the end of the counter. 

Reaching inside she tapped at the false seam and pulled the board out so she could get into the secret space. She had originally built it to hide her valuables but only until she got her safe. Now it made a great secret cubby hole for snacks she didn't want Hana or Lucio to eat when they dropped by for a visit. Or in this case, a perfect gift hiding place! Wrapping the box delicately she signed her name with a flourish and a sappy note on the card and placed both of them on the kitchen island. 

A soft ringing of the timer told the world the cake was done and Lena pulled it out to cool. Glancing at the clock she popped some vintage classic wine of sorts into the bucket of ice to chill and rooted out some glasses she had left somewhere in these cupboards. Once everything was set up, the cake frosted, and dishes cleaned it was time to clean up herself as well. Whistling happily she grabbed a towel and made her way to the shower.

Toweling off Lena stretched and pulled on some decent jeans and a plain shirt, opting to dig out her blue tuxedo hoodie for the occasion. All dressed she quickly did up the bed and straightened the pillows, you know, just in case Amélie decided to spend the night. As she smoothed over the last of the wrinkles she couldn't help but jump at the sudden loud popping noise that came from the other room. Cautious, Lena snuck her way over to the door and peaked out. 

Seeing no one she stepped fully out into the living room when another loud pop sounded next to her. Blinking she drove behind the couch looking around wildly. A rapid series of pops came and Lena finally found the source of the sound. A small pigeon had gotten inside and was popping the balloons. 

"How in the ruddy hell... the door!" Groaning to herself she glanced over at the still open balcony door. "Alright you, quit wrecking my stuff, it's time for you to go."

Lena stood brushing herself off and marched over to where the green-necked dull silver bird was busy popping another balloon. She made to grab it but the wily bird winged away just in time, its left wing catching ahold of some streamers pulling them down.

"Arrrg! Why you lil...!" Lena raced after the bird, intent on stopping this rat with wings.

The chase began in earnest, the pigeon determined to pop as many balloons as possible and Lena trying to do damage control as the dumb bird messed up all of her hard work.  
________________________

Amélie Lacroix smiled down at her phone, Lena had texted inviting her over with no less than a dozen of those emojis attached. Such a dork. But her dork and heaven or hell help whoever tried to change that. Her heels clicked lightly as she exited the elevator and made her way down to the correct apartment. 

She couldn't help but pause her hand on the handle as she heard a series of crashes and loud swearing come from within. Quickly pushing the door open, she stood dumbstruck at the scene before her. There were several balloons attached to the wall, with many more on the floor or popped. Streamers were hung and partially torn down in places. 

She entered just in time to see Lena dive over the coffee table and catch a pigeon with her bare hands before landing with a thump and a grunt on the wooden table. 

"Ha! I got you know you little shit! Why I outta...!" Lena growled triumphantly, her hands closed around the pigeon's fat torso.

"Lena... is this a bad time?" Amélie could barely suppress her amusement.

Jumping at Amélie's voice Lena's head whipped around to find her girlfriend standing in the doorway and she was beginning to wonder how much she had seen. 

"O-oh Amé! No no not at all I was just... Ow!" Lena yelped as the pigeon pecked hard at her thumb causing her grip to loosen.

With a quick jerk of its wings the pigeon freed itself and soared over to the open door, running into it once, and correcting its course sailing outside to freedom. Lena sat up on the coffee table sucking her throbbing thumb. Amélie grimaced and crossed over to the smaller brunette.

"Ma chérie, do not put that in your mouth. Who knows where that bird has been. Care to tell me what's going on?"

"Well, I know you said you didn't like birthdays, but hear me out. I just thought I could do just a little something. Just the two of us. But that ruddy pigeon!" Lena shakes her head scowling as she looked around at the mess. "And I just cleaned too!"

Amélie looked around her eyes widening slightly as she recalled today's date, too occupied with meeting up with Lena to think about that. Shaking her head Amélie brushed aside those choppy brunette spikes and kissed Lena's forehead.

"You sweet petite dork."

"Hey!" Lena squeaked in mock protest. "Well, uh, anyways. Happy Birthday Luv."

"Merci. Shall we have you wash your hands and we can enjoy some cake?"

"Oh right! Yeah let's, I'm just glad the lil bugger went after the balloons and not that."

Amélie dished out two slices onto the plates and cast a critical eye on the wine. Finding it satisfactory she uncorked and poured them each a glass. Lena turned back from the sink presenting two sporks dropping one on Amélie's plate. A mischievous grin lit Lena's face but Amélie spoke first.

"I love you Oxton but if you start singing that obnoxious song I will set loose as many pigeons in here as I can get my hands on."

"Uh, roight. No birthday song, got it." 

Bringing a sporkful to her lips Amélie took a bite, freezing after a couple seconds. 

"What's the matter Luv, not to your liking? It's an old recipe, mum used to make it all the time for special occasions. I'll admit I haven't had much practice making this one before but it shouldn't be too hard to screw up." Lena babbled a moment sticking a rather large sporkful in her own mouth. 

It took a minute of chewing before Lena realized something was wrong. Determined not to quit she quickly chewed and swallowed hard, snatching up the wine glass in front of her and taking several gulps. 

Panting softly she sputtered. "That has got to be the worst tasting cake I've ever had!"

Delicately depositing her own bite into a napkin she set it on the plate taking a drink as well. "It seems chérie, you may have mistaken the salt for sugar."

Lena whined softly, looking forlornly at the beautiful and utterly inedible cake in front of them. "I can't get anything right today it seems..."

"On the contrary," Amélie made her way around the counter and pulled Lena close, "while the party didn't fair so well. You did manage to make today special, and I will remember it forever." 

Lena beamed happily leaning into Amélie, "Happy Birthday Amélie. Maybe next year I'll get it right."

Drinking the last sip from her glass Amélie bent down bringing her lips to Lena's, tasting the chilled wine and lingering salt on the Brit's mouth. "Perhaps, but I do not have to wait a whole year to enjoy you."

"B-but, don't you want to unwrap your present?" Lena murmured softly, stretching up onto her tiptoes to chance Amélie's retreating lips for another kiss.

"I have another present I intend to unwrap," Amélie turned grasping the strings of Lena's hoodie and pulling them taunt tugging them gently. "Come."

A wide grin spread across Lena's face and she quickly stumbled after the retreating French woman. "Woof."  
________________________

As the bedroom door shut, a soft thud hit the balcony door pushing it slightly ajar. Soft skittering of claws on the laminate gave way to a rustle of feathered wings as the pigeon landed on the countertop where he began greedily pecking away at the cake's remains.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
